This post is hard for me to write because I am going to have to be incredibly transparent. Transparency freaks me out. Being vulnerable is uncomfortable and scary. Something about looking weak really gets to me and I struggle with remembering how vulnerability can allow God to work inside of me and uplift others around me who may be struggling, as well.
If you’re anything like me, you like to be yourself. I choose to embrace my quirky, different and unique qualities. I decided when I came to college that I wanted people to love me for me instead of someone I wasn’t. Although I found plenty of friends, guys and girls, who loved me for me, I still happen to be incredibly insecure about it. Why?
This post is meant for Christian women, like myself, who struggle with one question:
Will I ever be good enough for a Godly man?
We live in a world that is saturated in sin. It is literally dwelling in its core. It is damp and dark and cold. But then there are little lanterns like yourself who, instead of looking forward, look down at the scars left from the encounters of this sinful world. You look at your mistakes, flaws and faults and you can’t seem to move on.
Although your light may be dim right now, remember that sometimes freedom can be the hardest thing to grasp when we have lived a life as slaves to sin. Your scars may be distracting but remember the scars of He who broke your chains of slavery.
I often catch myself spending time in Scripture and hearing something in my head tell me I’m not good enough for so-and-so because he likes pretty, clean-cut Godly women and I’m not good enough to obtain any of those qualities.
Satan is deceiving you. Look at you! Your prayers and tears are heard and acknowledged by a Father who gave everything to let you be free. Although singleness is a trial now, it will eventually become a gift when you continue to lean and depend on Him with everything you are.
And remember, just as you are showered with such grace, so are the Godly men.
These men are not good men because of their accomplishments but by grace and grace alone. They are draped in mercy and are under the same blanket as you.
That being said it’s going to be a little bit of a wait for God’s man for you. You need to choose trust over discouragement. Your husband will be someone who is going to teach you more about God’s grace and right now in singleness, God is teaching you an incredible amount. So don’t let Satan put your light out.
Your future husband will want you not in spite of what you have done, but because you are God’s daughter. He will want you because you echo his attachment to Grace. This is not about proving yourself. This is about a walk with God.
Because, to your husband, he is undeserving of a love such as yours.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 ESV
You are loved.